Wow! I am not really sure how to explain what has just happened to me.
Having successfully, albeit carefully, managed chronic depression for over 15 years I chose to start writing here in the attempt to offer guidance, support and most of all HOPE. It was and still is my wish to be a positive example to all those who live with mental illness. However, in doing so I unwittingly brought about a very serious and extremely scary relapse. My first since a suicide attempt in 2007.
I guess it began when I decided to finally tell the truth. The truth that I think of in my own mind as “how to function in a dysfunctional family”. For the first time if 57 years I have decided to reveal the REAL world in which I have lived most of my life. To do this I have to get up close and personal with some really hard truths. I have to allow myself to be vulnerable. I thought I would be okay with that. I was wrong.
I will be writing more abut this vulnerability and it’s effects in the coming days. For now, I would like to direct you to my latest post in “Poems”. “Please Hear What I Am Not Saying” is a piece of work that I have carried with me, and have often pondered on, since I was in my teens. Somehow, with respect to what I will be writing in the coming days, it has taken on a new and even more poignant meaning than it had for me over 50 years ago.
Check back tomorrow for the first in a series of in depth accounts of the past two weeks. In the meantime I hope you enjoy reading “Please Hear What I am Not Saying” on my”Poems” page or by visiting at: